Gravity
by Eaving1989
Summary: Shepard is always there for her crew. But when she receives some bad news who is the one to help her hold herself together? FemShepXGarrus


**A/N: Well hello there! It's been a long time for me, and this is my first Mass Effect fic, so please be gentle. I'd love to hear what you have to say and constructive critisism is more than welcome. I'm also in the market for a Beta Reader so if anyone is willing please PM me! Read and Review lovelies!**

**This story is about a sole survivor/spacer/paragade FemShep and her relationship with Garrus. It is set after ME2 and Arrival, but before ME3. It will be set over 3 chapters. If I get some positive feedback I have a post ME3 fic just burning to be written. And the quotes at the start of each chapter are taken from the song "Gravity" by Vienna Teng. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, or anything within the ME universe. **

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><p><strong>Gravity<strong>

**Part 1**

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o

"_Hey love,_

_Is that the name you're meant to have_

_For me to call?"_

o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o

Garrus sighed deeply to himself, the sound reverberating throughout his chest. He enjoyed the feeling of it; he also enjoyed the chuckle it elicited from his bed mate.

"You're just one big pussy cat, Vakarian."

Garrus didn't know what a 'pussy cat' was, but he'd heard the first word used before between humans and hardly in a complementary manner. He ignored the confusing reference –humans were full of them- and snaked an arm around her soft waist, pulling her closer until her back was flush with his chest.

It was Commander Shepard's turn to sigh.

A sigh that turned into a gasp as he nuzzled the junction of her neck and shoulder. It was where her smell was strongest, and she always made the most pleasing sounds when he did so. The sounds were so different to those that Turian women made. There were no growls or hisses, but sighs and breathy gasps, moans and strangely enough... laughter. Laugher and sex were things Garrus had never encountered together, but with Shepard everything just seemed to work.

He tried not to think too hard on why he was in her bed, why she chosen him over other men –even ones of her own species- because when he did, he doubted. And Garrus never doubted his commanding officer... his lover... his Shepard.

Shepard rolled in his arms, turning her face to his. He was adept at reading her expressions now. Her brown eyes were unfocused, but her full lips were curved with the slightest evidence of a smile. He knew he could coax a smile from her. He could make her whisper his name, scream it even. That always caused something akin to pride swell in his chest. They were curled up together in her bed, in her quarters aboard the _Normandy_. The ship was en route to Illium, and there were only a few hours before they'd have to get up and take their turn manning the ship. He didn't want to wake up just yet. He just wanted to lay here with her, half asleep and enjoying the simple intimacy of sharing sheets.

Since her actions in the Bahak System Shepard had insisted he move his things into her cabin, saying that his company kept the bad dreams away. He hadn't argued -he couldn't have said no even if he'd wanted to-, she'd needed him. In fact he'd been flattered she'd asked, and the male in him was pleased that his presence made her feel safe.

She snuggled in closer, putting her face in the junction between his neck and the rise of his cowl. There his skin was velvet soft and extremely sensitive. She traced a line of kisses along his skin, causing a purr to rumble through him.

"Are you happy, Garrus?" She murmured. He could still hear the dregs sleep slurring her words. Shepard barely slept these days, but when she did, she slept like the dead. Garrus was glad she'd managed to get in a handful of hours this time.

"You have no idea..." He replied, tracing a talon down the little bumps of her spine.

She shuddered, his talons reaching a particularly ticklish place at the small of her back. That had been another little discovery for him. Turians weren't ticklish. Shepard picked herself up on one elbow, resting her head on her hand. He was distracted the instant the sheet slipped off the gentle swell of her breasts. The soft, fleshy mounds had been totally alien to him during their first sexual encounter, but after weeks of intimacy they were familiar... and the sight of them had become strangely erotic. He wanted to cup one, take his tongue to her rosy pink nipples and make her squeal. He resisted the urge for now and instead played with the necklace that dangled between her breasts. There was a silver circular pendant, stamped with the names of the squad mates she had lost on Akuze and a small gold crucifix that had belonged to Ashley Williams. The newest addition was a platinum pendant, this one rectangular, stamped with the names of the eight Alliance ships lost in the Battle of the Citadel. Shepard had had that one made on their last visit to the Citadel.

His woman carried her dead with her, around her neck. This discovery had only made him respect her more. He hoped that if he ever died in her service he'd get a pendant all to himself; a big one, with his picture on it.

He opened his mouth to say as much to her and caught the strange expression on her face. Her eyes were glistening and her mouth set in a firm line. It looked like she was preparing to say something uncomfortable. He could even smell her nervousness, but he knew better than to ask her what was wrong. She was so stubborn she'd only admit it when she was ready. So he waited.

"I wanted to thank you... for staying with me. For... being there when I need you. I don't think I've ever thanked you, Garrus." She said after a moment.

Her hand was tracing the plate ridge that ran the down the centre of his chest. He captured her small hand and brought it to his mouth, his blue tongue flicking lightly along her palm; the Turian equivalent of a kiss.

"You know I'll always be there for you, Shepard... whenever you need me. No need to thank me."

"I know. But I just wanted to say it. You've never doubted me, not once. I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten that. That I'll _never_ forget that."

This wasn't like her. Not like his Shepard at all. All of these things went unspoken between them. There was never any need for such explanation. Their friendship had been automatic, and this interspecies liaison... well, after the initial awkwardness had passed it had become as natural as breathing to Garrus. Panic shot through him. Was she dismissing him? Was this the human 'thanks for the fun now get out'? What hint was he missing? He felt panic rising within him, his heart started to pound a little faster, and this time he didn't wait for her to speak first.

"What's going on, Shepard?"

"Garrus, I wanted to tell you-"

"_Commander?"_

Shepard scowled as EDI's synthesized voice sounded over the intercom. Garrus flinched as the intensity of the moment was broken. His breath –he didn't realise he'd been holding it- escaped in a low hiss. He got out of bed quickly and slipped on his trousers. He wouldn't look at Shepard as she tried to catch his eye.

"What is it EDI? I thought I asked not to be disturbed? I'm halfway through a sleep cycle." Shepard said.

"_We both know you aren't sleeping, Commander. I am sorry for the interruption, but I have Admiral Hackett on the com. He is insisting he speak to you. Apparently his message is of the upmost importance and of a very personal nature."_

Shepard grumbled under her breath but slipped out of bed nonetheless. "Alright, EDI. Give me a minute to put some clothes on then I'll take the call on the big screen."

"_Of course, Shepard."_

Garrus sat down on the lounge and rested his elbows on his knees and his chin on his twined talons. He watched as Shepard slipped on her silk robe and strode to her desk. His insides were squirming. It took all his resolve and a few deep breaths to calm down. He was a soldier damnit! A Turian! He needed to harden the fuck up. If Shepard decided this affair was over, then he would smile, make a joke and accept her decision. Crawl back to the main battery maybe... lock the door for a few days even, but he would deal with it. And he would come out as her friend. He would never let anything come between him and his commander.

Shepard walked past him, her bare feet barely making a sound on the metal floors. He could feel her eyes on him, but he kept his lowered, acting intensely interested with the stack of datapads on the coffee table. He heard the telltale click of her hitting the vidcom button.

"Shepard." Admiral Hackett's voice was unmistakable. But there was an undertone in his voice that Garrus hadn't heard before. Turian expression was highly reliant on vocal tones and resonance. Garrus could sense something was off just by the undertones. There was anger, grief, regret...

"Admiral," Came Shepard's reply, "What can I do for you?"

Hackett hesitated for a second. "It's about your father, Shepard. He's dead."

"_What?"_

"I'm sorry, Shepard. He was leading the escort for the Alliance ambassador to the Batarian Hegemony. His identity was somehow leaked to the Batarian's and they kidnapped him. They've declared their actions as revenge for the Bahak system."

When Shepard spoke her voice was shaky. She sounded weak and upset. Garrus had never heard her sound that way. His heart constricted at the pain in her voice. "So they killed him? Killed him because of me?"

"We have managed to recover his body, but we can't take actions against them. We can't risk a war now."

Garrus rose and moved around to the edge of the couch. He stood where she could see him, but hidden from view of vidcom. The urge to go to her, to comfort his mate, was a strong one. But again he waited. Revealing their affair to Hackett was hardly a smart move. Her eyes flicked in his direction -he could see the tears building- and then flicked back to the screen. Garrus could see her hands shaking, fingers knotting together. In all respects she was holding up admirably. If that were his father or sister dead, or Shepard herself, he'd be one rampaging Turian. Look what happened last time, when Shepard had 'died'. He'd gone to Omega and taken his pain out on others, using words like 'justice' and 'criminals' to excuse his actions to himself.

"I know, Admiral. I understand. There's been enough death. I wouldn't ask for more. But where is my mother, how is she handling this?"

"Captain Shepard and the _Orizaba _have been recalled to Earth. That's why I've called you, Shepard. Your father's funeral is being held in four days. Alliance Command wants you there; to show the Batarians we have you in our custody and under our protection." Hackett said.

"I'll be there," Shepard replied, her voice wavering,"Of course I'll be there."

"Good to hear, Shepard. I'm sorry for your loss. Hackett out."

Garrus was up the steps the instant Shepard hit the disconnect button on the com. He opened his arms wide, ready to gather her into them. But she turned away from him. She whipped around and ran into her bathroom. Garrus hesitated, left unsure of himself, until he heard her begin to wretch and vomit noisily. He gathered his resolve and pushed his own concerns to the back of his mind. Shepard came first.

He quietly entered the bathroom, to see her in the corner. Shepard was on her knees with her head buried in the stainless steel bowl, her pale hands shaking and clutching at the rim as she wretched. Garrus knelt down beside her, a low keening noise beginning to thrum through his chest. It was the Turian way of expressing sympathy, sharing your grief with another. She wouldn't understand the gesture, but he made it anyway. Garrus gathered the wayward lengths of her silky brown hair and held it at the base of her neck. Now he could see her face.

Shepard was as paler than he'd ever seen her, with a sheen of moisture across her skin and tears streaming down her cheeks. Dr Chakwas had once explained human tears to him. They were an involuntary action; the human expression of deep hurt or grief. She'd even told him that sometimes humans cried out of happiness. He doubted that this was the case now. Garrus placed his free hand on the small of her back and began rubbing it in rhythmic circles. Shepard had once told him how relaxing she found that. He hoped it helped. Being so inexperienced with human grief he had no idea what to say to comfort her.

"He's dead, Garrus. _Mea culpa... mea maxima culpa_." She whispered into the stainless steel bowl. If Garrus hadn't been a Turian he wouldn't have caught that last part. It was barely a whisper, and his translator didn't seem to be able to figure it out. He'd ask EDI later.

"He was your father, Shepard. He would have been honoured to die for you." He said quietly. Any Turian father –any Turian parent- would consider it the greatest honour to lay down his life for his child. It was just the way things were.

Shepard lifted her head out of the toilet to glare at him. "_Damn _you and your Turian honour! My father died because of my actions. They killed him because I killed their fathers... their _children_... their whole families. Where is the honour there, Garrus? There's nothing but pain for everyone."

"There is honour in everything, Shepard. You just have to know how to see it." Garrus used the corner of her robe to wipe the muck from her face. She bore through his ministrations, but the tears didn't stop. "It's an honour for a parent to die defending their young, and I know your father would have died like a hero."

Her face seemed to crumple, and she gave herself over to her grief. Her sobs seemed to rip themselves out of her throat, cries that rose from the very pit of her stomach. Garrus gathered her too his body, and cupped her face to his. He crooned to her as he would a child, as he had when his sister had been little and woken in the grip nightmares. That triggered a memory of Shepard telling about needing hot showers after her nightmares. She'd told him they'd helped.

Garrus supported her slack weight with one wiry arm and rose, striding over to the shower unit. He tried to stand her up, but her legs couldn't support her weight. Shepard was pale and shivering from head to toe. She'd wound her arms around his neck and was holding on as if for dear life. He couldn't pry her off to lean her against the wall. She seemed to be going into some kind of shock. He'd seen it before it humans who had suffered severe trauma. So Garrus continued to support her with his own body and ripped the now stained fabric of her robe from her, hitting the hot water button once she was naked.

Hot water sluiced over their bodies, dripping from his fringe and running in rivulets down her soft face, mingling with her tears. Garrus wrapped both arms around her and held her tight against him, relieved when her shaking seemed to settle down.

"There we go, Shepard. Come back to me." He murmured, rubbing his rough cheek against her wet one. Her hands clutched tightly at his skin, tight enough to hurt.

"He was everything to me, Garrus. He made me who I am. The thought of him kept me going on Akuze." She said.

"And I know he was so proud of you."

That seemed to have been the wrong thing to say. She broke down again, sobbing into his chest plates. "I never got to ask him!"

"Well I did." He said. That seemed to surprise her. She ceased crying and looked up at him in amazement. Garrus continued, "I met him at your funeral, Shepard. After you were lost with the first _Normandy_. He was there with your mother, and Anderson and Hackett. Everyone was there. Tali was a mess and Kaidan too. I think Liara was the only thing holding them upright. And I just stood there, next to your coffin, like I had no idea what I was doing there. I felt so lost, Shepard... lost without you there to drive me forward, to keep challenging me, to keep me focused. I think your father saw that. I can remember him speaking about you as a little girl. He said you loved to sing, and that you'd always told him you wanted to grow up and be like your mother."

Garrus thought back to that day and shuddered involuntarily. It had felt as if the sun and stars had been torn from his galaxy, leaving him in the dark. He could remember staring at the metal coffin that was supposed to house her body, instead filled with keepsakes from mourners. Garrus hadn't been able to part with anything she had given him. He wondered that if deep down some part of him had known she was still alive and hadn't been willing to let her go. More like wishful thinking.

Shepard looked like she was caught somewhere between a memory and the present. She rested her head against his chest and insisted he keep talking.

"After the service was over your father came up to talk to me. Robert Shepard... He has the same eyes as you, and the same coloured hair. He took one look at me and said, 'Looks like we both need a drink, Turian!'. I think we spent all night at the bar, propping each other up. I told him all about you, about everything we achieved on the _Normandy_. I told him about all the people you saved and the things we went through. He told me that he couldn't believe that his little girl was gone, and that he'd never get to tell her all the things he'd wanted to... like how proud she'd made him."

"I had no idea…"

"You couldn't have known, Shepard."

They stood under the water not speaking for a long time, until it eventually turned cold and Shepard began to shiver. Garrus turned off the water and wrapped his mate in a towel. She was calm enough now that she could stand on her own, although he had to dry her off himself, and dress her, and carry her to bed. All the while she watched him intensely. Once she was under the covers she spoke.

"Thank you, Garrus. I- I don't know what I'd do without you." She said softly, her voice wavering again. Garrus leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. She pressed her soft lips to his harder mouth plates and Garrus puckered his in an unusual way to return the gesture. It seemed to comfort her.

"You still can't kiss for shit, Vakarian." She said, giving him a lopsided smile.

Garrus grinned in Turian fashion, his mandibles flicking. That was _his_ Shepard. "Well then," He replied, "You'll just have to keep teaching me. I know it's not like you to leave something half done."

She chuckled. "Never."

"Good. Now you rest for a bit. I'm going to let EDI know we need a change of course." He nuzzled her quickly for his own pleasure, then rose, heading to the door of her cabin. "Then I'm going to see Gardner about human comfort food, and then I'm going to come back here and keep you dazzled with my amazing knowledge of Elcor poetry. How does that sound?"

She made a face. "That sounds riveting… but Garrus?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Best put some clothes on first. And don't be gone too long."

"And keep you waiting? Never."

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End file.
